The Signs He's Cheating

If you find shady that your particular mate can be cheating, do not seem to be paranoid. You have to walk a fine range — you do not want to produce fake suggestions.

Consequently, while Now i am sharing this kind of report on cheating warning, My partner and i agree it is the tricky circumstance. It's challenging to make sure in case someone's cheating, but guard oneself: End up being aware, and also take note of your mind and also heart within the relationship. Yet, as well, do not permit stress steer the way due to the fact unnecessary paranoia will certainly simply push your soulmate out.

Here are several warning that could sign that your particular mate can be cheating:

1. Much less Sexual

Except if he or she is Superman, they can merely get so much making love. Consequently, in case he or she is received it from an additional resource, you may see. Of your house an additional woman or perhaps a adult porn dependency — even if he or she is not cheating — the decrease in making love signs severe concerns in the relationship.

2. Jumpy Cellphone Behaviors

In a best entire world, i'd be operational concerning sharing the correspondence with this significant people. More often than not, we trust that any of us don't have to worry about who's text messaging as well as phoning these individuals. Yet, in case you realize that he's getting defensive and/or nervous as soon as they becomes telephone calls as well as text messages, it may be bring about pertaining to alarm.

Can a Smart, Successful Woman Find a Like-Minded Man

Can a Smart, Successful Woman Find a Like-Minded Man

its seems today that one person in a relationship is the more successful or “smart” party of the two (i.e., predominantly more successful men with less successful women). With as many female entrepreneurs and CEOs as we have now, we hear plenty about the successful woman. But why don’t we hear of more smart and successful COUPLES?

This leads us to ask, what happened to the “power couple”? Today when we hear “power couple,” one popular relationship comes to mind: Beyoncé and Jay Z. They both were first musicians and have branched out to other investments that have made them both extremely successful. We (as women) can get our masters or doctorate, or own our own successful business, and still end up dating someone not as smart or successful! That leaves us wondering: What can we do to ensure that we date someone as smart and successful as ourselves?

1) Never lower your standards. Although it may seem impossible to find a smart, successful, and attractive man who isn’t turned off by your own success, there are plenty of men out there. The phrase “you get what you give” should be a key idea in the search for someone like-minded. If you’re talking to a man who doesn’t keep you intellectually stimulated, you haven’t found the right one to date. There are plenty of men who are successful and not smart, or smart and not quite successful (yet), so this is where your good judgment comes into play.

2) Don’t dumb yourself down for anyone. Some women like to use the ‘”damsel in distress” act to lure a dater into becoming more serious. You’re too smart for that! Women who act like they’re helpless and need a man to complete them will never get an equal position in the relationship. They will always be thought of as the lesser (in success and smarts) by their significant other.

3) Be confident, not cocky. There is no need to brag out your success and smarts. Once someone gets to know you, they will realize it themselves. You don’t want to leave people thinking that you’re pretentious. When talking about something you’re knowledgeable in, offer your insight but don’t force it on the other people (or person) in the conversation.

4) Highlight your strengths. When dating, choose activities that you are or may be good at. I’m not suggesting you hide your weaknesses; I’m telling you to put your best foot forward. With that being said, don’t be afraid to try new things either!

5) Never allow the chivalry to fade. Although you’re as smart and successful as your date, allow (and expect) him to be chivalrous. Even though he thinks of you as an equal, allow him to do things such as pull out your chair, open the car door, or pay for dinner. Just because you are just as successful, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be treated like a queen.

If you trust your intuition, and/or if it seems like the successful man you’re after expects you to dumb yourself down for him, it’s time to move on to someone else. Remember, men will treat you how you allow them to treat you. Keep your expectations of them high and remember that you deserve someone as awesome as you!

- See more at: http://datingwithdignity.com/2015/04/can-smart-successful-woman-find-like-minded-man/#sthash.0ymA9aeJ.dpuf

she4he community: LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPIf there's any good new...

she4he community: LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPIf there's any good new...: LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP If there's any good news about long-distance relationships, maybe it's that they suck equally for men...

LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

If there's any good news about long-distance relationships, maybe it's that they suck equally for men and women. People who want to stay together when they're apart face universal challenges, regardles of gender. Still, judging by the messages I get, a lot of women are reluctant to pin their relationship issues on distance, looking instead for other explanations for struggles with trust, communication or fidelitys.

    How to Tell if a Man Is Interested in You

In the event you go through our own Relationship together with Self-worth short article “How to inform if your Guy Can be Considering An individual, ” you may well be aware of various techniques a guy can easily present his curiosity. And if you’re next alongside, you'll be aware that your man’s body gestures claims all of it in relation to offering you the actual “yes” transmission you’re searching for.



Yes, ladies, it’s that easy when you use make use of our own “Four Signals to ‘He’s In Me’: Body gestures Edition. ” Look it over:



Eyes make contact with Interestingly, sheepish, nearly difficult attention make contact with frequently implies he’s in you! In the event you capture your ex considering you after you aren’t shopping his means, in addition to this individual easily appears out after you take a look at your ex, he’s probably serious!

When you’re competent to receive close to his confront, discover when his pupils tend to be dilated also, that's how are you affected once we take a look at someone all of us such as! Primary attention make contact with is additionally an signal that they loves you. Extremely self-assured fellas can make significant attention make contact with; then when most of these adult men have you being a goal, it'll be apparent this individual wants to get your own romantic relationship to the next amount!

As being a self-esteem dater, also you can employ this suggestion to ascertain when his attention make contact with can be lusty or maybe when this individual desires to get at definitely know you. A coldly flirty search signifies this individual probably wants to join your own shorts, while the serious, targeted search (as when he’s definitely enjoying you) signifies this individual wants to join your mind!



Energetic tuning in

When inside talk, someone whom loves you can take part in productive tuning in. He’ll trim inside when it comes to you while you’re chatting. He’ll create attention make contact with while you’re discussing (see above), in addition to he’ll in addition actually convert his system when it comes to you. It is body gestures flirting on the very best.

Furthermore, a guy whom desires to familiarize yourself with you won’t trim from you or maybe search disinterested. (If you’re on a time with this man, hope this individual doesn’t call up you again. ) From time to time someone that's enthusiastic about you can peek out sometimes. Don’t immediately think he’s definitely not serious; he’s probably merely refocusing his awareness.



This individual doesn’t touch his cellular phone

Many people tend to be keyed in respond to such things as phone calls or maybe texting (or messages, or maybe twitter updates and messages, or maybe Instagrams, or maybe any slew connected with technological warns 1 receives coming from the woman's phone). In addition, it’s turn into popular for most individuals to put the cellular phone on the table. (Bad time manners! ) Yet, if your man provides turned off his cellular phone, turned off the actual ringer, or maybe remaining this inside his pocket in addition to hasn’t glanced on this after for hours, it is a great indication he could be in ANYONE. You've taken his awareness. Congrats!



The system placement

Men who’s squaring his neck when it comes to you can be enthusiastic about getting to know you. Can be his feet aimed on you also? Excellent. The hip and legs will probably be distributed somewhat, in addition to he’ll surely always be struggling with you.

The primary system setting when it comes to you will also always be great for your ex while this individual wants to carry out one of several outdated “accidentally-on-purpose” brushes of this elbow or maybe equip. (This is certainly much more on purpose when compared with by mistake. ) Detect when this individual repairs his hair or maybe adjusts his tank top or maybe belt (subconsciously seeking to bring your own focus on his groin area), since these are generally signs this individual loves you.

When you locate a Mr. Man Substance gentleman that's wide open in addition to honest whom loves you, then chances are you probably won’t require the above tips. Although at the same time, this specific Relationship together with Self-worth “Is This individual in Me? ” Formula will certainly assuredly assist get rid of any kind of distress.

What should you do if you need assist obtaining Mr. Man Substance? Ut to our own free of charge web conferencing in addition to discover 3 Essential Strategies to Getting Your current Excellent, Relationship-Ready Guy (and Uncover the 3 Dangerous Relationship Problems Many Women of all ages Produce in addition to Ways to Avoid them! ).

If Your Guy Loves You But Doesn’t Want to Marry You

If Your Guy Loves You But Doesn’t Want to Marry You

When you’re perusing this, you’ve possibly already been covered away from from your mate when you’ve raised matrimony or perhaps associated with a sweetheart exactly who “doesn’t rely on matrimony. ”

Before you begin to sense that there’s a “problem” together with your romantic relationship, determine this specific query: Why is matrimony therefore crucial to me personally?

In my opinion, adore and also matrimony usually are very subjective. Appreciate seriously isn't specifically calculated simply by an item of document, closed through the judge, and also seen simply by relatives and buddies. Marriage is definitely an previous history of which holds appropriate provides robust. The item allows husbands and wives to create judgements for each other, share money, and also be monogamous (That’s the concept, with least). All of us mature with this particular fairytale undeniable fact that matrimony is usually the future. It’s that which you usually are brought up to complete; and if we all don’t obtain married, we’re regarded as “on your shelf” or maybe a “bachelorette for a lifetime. ”

The excitement connected with matrimony and a wedding is almost every very little girl’s desire.

Pinterest’s Marriage ceremony area definitely gets the minds fluttering, and also almost all we could carry out is usually start pinning and also setting up. On the other hand, we need to never feel like matrimony is usually necessary; as an alternative, it should be looked at as a possibility to combine particular issues coming from 2 best friends’ (and lovers’) lives directly into just one.

People get married to for a variety of good reasons. No person is always to declare of which marrying for profit is usually any further of your reputable explanation when compared with marrying for monogamy or perhaps for virtually every other explanation aside from adore. If the mate isn't going to would like to charm the idea of matrimony, determine a few questions to higher realize why matrimony is really crucial to you.

Are you wanting to get married mainly because your household demands regarding it each time you observe or perhaps speak with these people?

Are generally your mates almost all (or relatively all) married and also beginning to have little ones? Are you a bridesmaid throughout a lot of marriage ceremony? Can you feel like the organic time is usually ticking? Should you have clarified YES to any or all or perhaps these types of, it may be smart to reconsider PRECISELY WHY you are therefore adamant with regards to a wedding.
Click here to figure out how to turn into perpetually impressive – and also attract and also maintain a high-quality guy!

Because of the pressure coming from outside specifics, it’s difficult to understand should the good reasons you wish to possibly be married therefore horribly usually are reputable.

We are in no way indicating to re-think matrimony throughout general—just take into consideration exactly why matrimony is significant within your romantic relationship. There are always 2 facets. Men will certainly question you can adore and be using a person devoid of “that part of document, ” even though females will certainly rebut using “Well, in the event that it’s simply just an item of document, then it should be zero major deal. ”

You already know status. When staying married is often a deal breaker inside the courting division, you've obviously constructed your mind. On the other hand, if the reasons behind wanting matrimony usually are affected from the start, probably it’s time for it to reconsider matrimony on the whole!

Three Benefits of Interracial Dating

Interracial dating is not just limited to only blacks or whites, instead it takes chance with any person at any time and at any place being internet the endless source of information.



There are many benefits of interracial dating which can help people to communicate with their partners and make their relationship more stronger.



Benefit 1:- Interracial dating teaches people about the similarities and differences of different cultures showing them a manner of life, wherein two different people with two different backgrounds have a lot to share about their environment rather than people with same background and same environment.



Benefit 2:- If we ignore the differences between different nationalities then race does not make any difference in our lives. Interracial couple is capable of loving each other as deeply as the normal couple this is because of different race and the opportunity to see the beauty of life. In the end true love has nothing to do with race or status.



Benefit 3:- If we start comparing things in our lives then we ourself will never be satisfied with what we get or with what we have. In interracial dating relationship there is no comparison, no adjustment and no compromise between couples. couples need not worry about the adjustments with their partners.



For those seeking relationship with no meaning to life, interracial relationship can be the best example. One of the leading online dating site, is an effective site helping singles to meet their partners outside their race. For every relationship to withstand we help you finding the right partner. We offer all our members a friendly service with facilities that can make you search true love and immense passion for life. We know that each individual has their own dreams of their life partners, we understand the motives of each individual and can also share your experience with us. Put in your profile and connect with your partner through our website. Our site distinguishes members. ie who are really serious about marriage and love. In addition, you can find exclusive dating tips and online dating safety tips, must read interaction before you start.



Unlike other websitesHealth Fitness Articles, offers all it’s members a friendly service and messaging facilities that can search for true love. In addition we understand dreams and motives of each individual trying to locate their perfect match. Your personal inbox lets you easily find your perfect match.

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Thinking of you 

I feel the reason I have held on this long was because there was never any real closure. We just argued or ignored each other. Nothing was really done face to face. It's so unreal to me that every fond memory is becoming a haze, and as it slowly fades, I grasp with all my might to hold on to it.

We ended as fast as we started. One day the light was green and the next it was red. We had a lot of good times when things were green. The way you made me feel, I could not possibly forget. You treated me with respect and looked at me in a way no one has ever looked at me before. It was real… at least it felt very real. We had fun and could talk for hours. When we were not doing that, we would just lay. I never felt so comfortable and safe. I could tell you how I was feeling and you would tell me how you were feeling, we were on the same page. Then things changed.

I told you I was developing deeper feelings for you and that I was scared of those feelings because I didn't want to get hurt. I guess this triggered something in you to pull the brakes, and quick. You told me you had feelings too, but that we were bad timing. There is so much you want to do and accomplish and you couldn't serve two masters. Your career was just starting to take off and the time we usually had every week together was now getting taken away due to traveling. On top of that, you were emotionally drained. Your ex did a number on you and you never thought you would like someone or even have a girlfriend so soon. You didn't want to care or be committed to caring. This hit me like a ton of bricks. Not only was I speechless at first, but confused. I knew the feelings were real and now you were running from them.

We argued for weeks and when you didn't want to hear me talk anymore, you just stopped responding. It drove me crazy and just confused me more. Sometimes out of anger or emotion, I was saying things I definitely didn't mean, or talking in circles that didn't make sense and not relaying what I really wanted to say. I just felt how could someone who says they care about you and not want to hurt you give you the silent treatment and how could you not see that was just making things worse...

Because I am so passionate and caring, and the fact that I don't half ass anything, is the reason why I fight and why I was fighting for you. You were pulling away and I just kept fighting, not giving up. Then one day you wake up and realize you can't fight or even remotely control something you do not have control over. That truth made me really sad and sometimes angry. The truth hurt. The truth that you are not ready and there is nothing that I can possibly do to change your mind. It didn't matter if I am a good person or if I have a good heart or that I am the whole package and if things were good. Your mind was made up and you were going to do you.

We said we would be friends and man am I trying, but you keep pushing me away which just leads to more confusion. Do you now not even want that or is it deeper or maybe more simple that that…. I am not sure and so much energy is just being wasted on the thought.

So here I am after months of going back and forth about you to arrive at this conclusion, that it is time to really let it go. What we had for that short amount of time was real and it was great and that is the hardest thing to say goodbye to because there was so much hope and potential, but it is what is. I've been holding on to this hope because I really believed in you. Maybe one day we really can be friends. Maybe one day things will go back to what they were. Then again, maybe they wont. But what I do know is, that the time we did have together was beautiful and great and ever take that away.

onclick="startGateway('OTQ0NjA5');" POSTED BY ALBA ACOSTA

TELLTHE PEOPLE YOU LOVE


ITS IMPORTANT TO TELL THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE.

ONE DAY YOU WILL  THINKING WHY I AM NOT TELLING HER
WHAT I FEEL ABOUT HER THEN YOU FEEL VERY GUILTY
SO , DO NOT WAIT FOR RIGHT TIME.
 IF YOU LOVE HER TRULY  THEY UNDERSTAND YOUR FEELING.

I have always loved you, and you know that.

Ever since I was fifteen years old, when we laid under the trees, learning and growing in love.

I have tried to let you go and find someone that moves me more than you, but no one can beat the way you make me feel. Being around you lifts me up - not only do I feel fifteen again, but you make me feel like I couldn’t be anyone better but the person I am when I am with you.

You live there, and I live here, which is why it has never worked.

I would have followed you always, and you knew that, but only now are you telling me you want me to. I am scared.

I’m scared of how much I love you, I am scared that you aren’t the person I am in love with, I am scared you don’t love me as much as I love you, I am scared you are going to hurt me again, and I am scared of what it means to be trying with you.

I wish we could go back under the trees when we were fifteen, I wish life wasn’t complicated, I wish we could fall into sweet, all-consuming love and I wouldn’t be scared of the past nine years and how much you can move me.

You are heaven - I see my whole life with you.

But are you simply a fantasy? Maybe that’s why I am scared.

How to run away from that person who loves you

I’ve been with him for just over a year. I’m a runner by nature. As in,
when things start to get serious, when they start to feel permanent, I
leave the man I am with. This is one is pretty much perfect. Kind,
considerate, handsome, affectionate, generous, head over heels in love
with me. So in love with me, that it scares me. How can he get so

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invested? He says he wants to build his life around me. The thought scares                                                                                                                      

me. I am down to earth, practical, a career first kind of girl. I wanted
to build my life around a place, a job, a career. Once all that was
settled, I figured I would meet someone and fall in love and maybe even
settle down. But love happened first. And now I am unsure whether to keep
it. Unsure because the longer I am with him, the more in love with me he
is, and all the while I am not sure if I will stay here. Maybe I’ll
travel, maybe I’ll go to grad school, maybe I’ll take a job across the
continent or even the world. I am unsure if he fits into those plans or
not. And because I’m afraid, because he is blameless, I have started
picking little fights, being stand-offish, secretly hoping to send him
over the edge and force him to break up with me, because I’m too cowardly
to be the bad guy. But I can’t push him away like the others, he sees
through it, and holds tight. It fills me with happiness and breaks my
heart all at the same time.

So to the people that are like me, and run away when they get scared of
the intensity of their feelings or the feelings of the one they’re with,
what do I do? Did you regret running away? Or was it better for you in the
long run, and less hurtful to the person you left?

To the people that got left behind, do you wish he or she had stayed? Or
was leaving you the best thing they ever did for you in the end?

I just want to put it out there that it’s not that I feel I don’t deserve
to be loved. I’m just not sure if this is the time or place to be in so
deep. I am afraid how madly and selflessly he loves me. It’s like I’m his
air or something. It’s frightening, but thrilling. But can you love too much?

In gratitude for kissing

is something we’ve often taken for granted as a standard part of romance, but scientists have been all over the world and they’ve come back to tell us we were wrong the whole time.

Previously, it’s always been believed that romantic kissing happens in most cultures, but the first ever worldwide study has revealed that only 46% of the world’s cultures kiss romantically. In fact, some cultures find the idea of lip-to-lip contact strange, or even repulsive.

Researchers from Indiana University studied 168 cultures around the world to see what part kissing played in romantic relationships, publishing their findings in the American Anthropologist journal.

If these results seem surprising, it might show that we can tend to view the world through our own perspectives and experiences, sometimes taking things like kissing for granted. Knowing that we kissers are in the minority might be a fun excuse to enjoy it that little bit more.

The Middle East seemed to like kissing most, with all of the cultures studied there engaging in kissing. 73% of Asian cultures, 70% of European cultures, and only 55% of North American cultures were fans of kissing. The researchers found no evidence at all of kissing in Central America, or among the foraging cultures of Sub-Saharan Africa, New Guinea, and the Amazon.

Interestingly, the results suggest that the more complex a society is, the more likely its inhabitants are to engage in kissing. So the fact that we have varying degrees of social and economic statuses may be connected to why we have evolved into a culture of kissing those we are attracted to.

Kissing can be a way of finding out how we feel about a potential partner, testing out whether or not there is chemistry, and whether a person ‘feels right’ to us.

Further studies may be done into how a society evolves from being a non-kissing one into a kissing one. In the meantime, let’s be grateful that we live in a society where kissing is part of the adventure of sex and romance.

 Tips to help maximize their single life.more about click here

While most of society is geared toward finding The One and settling down, singlehood often lands with a big fat stigma attached to it. Single women are constantly pitied by paired up friends and presumed to be lonely, depressed, and desperate for love.

While some single ladies may exude that aura, it doesn’t have to (and shouldn’t!) be that way.  Your single years shouldn’t feel like an era of failure but rather a time to embrace your independence, enjoy your freedom, and get to know who really are—which, coincidentally, will better prepare you for a lasting relationship. Since it’s easy to get stuck in a sad singles rut, here are eight Dating with Dignity tips to lead a more fulfilling single life.

1. Don’t Dwell

Past heartbreaking events tend to hang around and affect how you deal with the present and think of the future. Any time you catch yourself thinking about what you could’ve done differently to win back that ex, train yourself to remember that exes are just that for a reason.

2. Try New Things

What better time to explore new hobbies than when there’s no one to run it by but yourself? Sign up for a night course, check out a local painting class, or attend an eclectic event in your city that piques your interest. You may just wind up making some new friends, too!

3. Tap into Your Creativity

With so many new hobbies on your calendar and alone time to reflect, you’ll likely find a new or rediscovered element of creativity weaving its way into your life. Use this time on your own to see where it takes you.

4. Make Yourself a Priority

No matter how much it consumes your thoughts, dating is just one tiny fraction of your life. Cook a delicious meal for yourself even if no one is coming over, take yourself to a movie or concert, and write regularly in a journal. Remind yourself of how much you’re worth, with or without a steady partner.

5. Date!

Regardless of how much alone time and introspection being single can entail, finding time to date is still an important piece of the puzzle. Dating in any context, no matter how horribly awkward it turns out to be, is great practice and will help you to narrow down (or expand) what you’re looking for in a mate.

6. Take Off the Pressure

Don’t feel like you have to talk yourself into liking someone. Some people just aren’t the right fit, and that’s okay.

7. Set (and Stick to) Standards

Harness your independence and strike out anyone who doesn’t treat you with the respect and care you deserve. Take this time to determine which values and traits are of the utmost importance to you, and filter out any fellas who don’t meet those fundamental requirements.

8. Relax

Spending your energy chasing men or desperately trying to mold the wrong ones into your soulmate will distract you from keeping up your antennae for red flags and enjoying your solo free time.

So what do you do with these eight tips?  Take one or two to that really resonate with you, put them to work, and see how these small changes can make a BIG impact on your dating life.

And in the meantime, if you’re really ready to attract an exciting, fulfilling, and lasting relationship, then check out this free webinar. Almost all women make these  three mistakes that kill their chances with quality, relationship-ready men. Is it possible you’re also making one of them.

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Teenage Dating Advice

• When it comes to boys and dating, there is no such thing as a foolish question. How are you supposed to know the answers to questions you've never needed to ask before? Teenage dating tips are important for teenagers who are starting to date. Here are a few of the questions we've been asked most often!

 

Teenage Dating Tips:

  Most Asked Questions

Teenage Dating Tips: How do I know if I'm ready to date?
Everyone develops at different rates, and if you are still uncomfortable with the idea of dating, that's OK. Hanging with friends who don't have boyfriends will stop you from feeling left out. Girls who start too young might find they go too far too soon because they don't know how to put the brakes on. It is far better to wait until you have the confidence to do and say only what you want to.
 
Teenage Dating Tips: What does being attracted to someone really mean?
Although we think of attraction mainly in terms of looks or personality, it also includes how a person smells (pheromones are our own personal scent), how they treat you, and how you interpret their body language. Although sexual chemistry is not an exact science, studies show that pleasant, warm people are seen as more attractive than cold, distant ones. It's no secret looks are important for first impressions, but usually we end up with people who are on the same level of physical attractiveness as we are.
 
Teenage Dating Tips: What should I expect from a first date?
Relax. This is not a final examination on which your entire grade is based. A first date is simply an occasion to be with someone else for a certain period of time and for a certain amount of pleasant, personal interaction. It is no different from deciding to meet a friend at a designated place and time. It is the beginning of a new relationship. You are simply making a statement to a guy that you would like to get to know him better.
 
Teenage Dating Tips: Why are some girls boy crazy? 
One reason some girls are boy crazy is because they need a lot of attention and aren't getting it at home, especially from their fathers. Others need boys to provide some of the qualities they think they can't get by themselves like power (he will protect her), or status (people will admire her more) or independence (an excuse to get out of her home for a while.) Girls who are boy crazy often haven't developed their own identity, giving up on their development for the pursuit of boys. Sadly, they just don't think they are as important as having a boyfriend is.
 
Teenage Dating Tips: If I like a guy who doesn't do as well in school as I do, shouldn't I hide my brains and talent, just a little?
No! Watch yourself and pay attention to your own unequal thinking. You have the right to be seen as the strong, smart, independent young woman you are. If a guy doesn't like it, too bad for him. But don't sell him short. He might just be as attracted to your intelligence as you are to his strengths.

Good luck as you start dating and be sure to use these teenage dating tips!
 

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Are You Ready For a Relationship?

Posted by: Alba acosta

Before you jump online and start filling out a dating profile and joyfully browsing the singles in your area, it would be wise to take a moment to assess your readiness to enter into the world of dating. It is not uncommon for people to jump blindfolded into a relationship they are not truly ready for, nor is it uncommon for people to connect with someone who is not currently capable of offering all that a relationship requires. In both cases, both people get hurt when the romantic connection faces challenges. Relationships are not meant to be the source of our love and good health, rather a benefit to our growth. Therefore, it is crucial to determine if you are in a state fertile for the giving and receiving of love before entering into a relationship. A healthy connection requires a strong foundational understanding that you are a whole being, complete unto yourself, and self-love is a prerequisite for loving others. If you find yourself to be well enough to share in the giving and receiving of love, then you are likely ready for a relationship. If not, then you will need to spend some time and energy on intentionally shaping your character and disposition to be one of wholeness, with your love sourced from within rather than from the outside world and other people in it.

If there is an intense and destabilizing need for someone else to save you from the woes of life or to fulfill you, then this neediness is likely a reflection of dependency. Depending on a partner leads to clinging and a false sense of connection. True love for another being blossoms out of self-love, whereby you care and tend to your own emotional, physical and mental well-being first and foremost. No one but you is responsible for the maintenance of your good health, and in order to heal from a state of dependency and therefore be open to true connection, you must assume this personal responsibility and express it through your continual efforts of self-nurturance. As such, love flourishes within you and only then may you share it outwardly in a pure way, resulting in meaningful connection that aids in a joyful and progressive evolution for both or all people.

Some other signs that you have some personal work to do before entering into a relationship include:

– You hold an expectation of finding the “ideal” partner. A person who fits your ideal image does not exist. Fixating on this image prevents you from seeing others clearly. This results in misery for you because of unmet hopes, as well as for the other, who is made to feel unseen, unaccepted and unappreciated as a result of your projections. Love that heals means seeing one another for who each of you truly are.

– Your interest is dominantly on receiving from another, in the form of resource, emotional support, or physical satisfaction rather than balancing giving with receiving. There is a saying that we receive by giving. Not only is this true in the sense of feeling good by supporting and loving another, but it encourages a natural flow to occur that brings love and attentiveness back towards us from the other person.

– While using dating websites, you find you hold no true intention on meeting anyone in person. Sometimes, people will turn to online dating to fill in a perceived lack in their lives. They seek to have a connection with someone without holding any true intention of bringing that connection offline and letting it grow, as their correspondence likely anticipates. Surprisingly, this is not always clear to the individual who maintains this form of distance, or they may not perceive the dishonesty in this approach.

– You find it unbearable to spend time alone. This is key for determining if you are truly giving yourself the time required to harbour self-love and tune into yourself as a whole and complete individual. If you cannot enjoy even a day in your own company, then there is something within that you are neglecting and not giving the attention it deserves. When we cannot spend time in our own internal reality to feel, discover and accept everything that is happening within us, then it will prove tremendously difficult to communicate with a partner when challenges arise. Furthermore, it will be near impossible to empathize clearly with the heart and world of another person.

– Addictions. Whether to a substance, gambling, shopping or food, addictions reflect some personal work that needs to be done. This often requires a tremendous amount of energy and while it may be helpful to have some support from a partner, it may easily spoil a new relationship.

– Lack of control in the presence of emotional discomforts, especially if this leads to dangerous outbursts. Engaging in challenging conversations with intense emotion often leads to saying things we later regret and putting our pain onto our partner. By learning how to deal with our emotions in healthy ways, whether it be by going for walks, playing music, meditating, etc., then we are more likely to maintain equanimity and communicate clearly and compassionately.

– An unfinished past relationship. This may come in the form of a partnership that has yet to end, a pending divorce, or a love connection you have yet to grieve fully after the relationship ended or transformed.

Upon recognizing any of these signs present within you, simply accept this truth. Allow yourself the time and space to work through anything that is preventing you from forming a healthy and clear-hearted connection with another, as this will be highly beneficial to your future self. When we begin to open ourselves to a relationship while coming from a healthy place, then the type of partner we attract will reflect a similar degree of good health. Ultimately, this raises our chances of building a successful relationship.

 

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